Flathead Living Winter 2009/2010 : Page 29
c ommu n i t y T amarack Camp Director Tina Barrett is bouncing around with her clipboard greeting campers when she spots the little boy sitting outside the merry-go- round of laughter and activity. The little boy sits with his head resting on his arms as he watches the rest of the kids laughing, sharing friendly pats, playful shoves, and happy hugs. He wonders what kind of camp this will be—knowing that he is here because his mother died. Knowing that everyone is here because somebody died. His father sits next to him, his hand on his son’s shoulder. Tina greets the little boy with a smile that is like sunlight breaking through the canopy of evergreen trees overhead. She has Diego, another camper, in tow. Diego plops down next to the boy to offer encouragement. Diego knows what it is like to lose someone because he lost his dad, and he also knows about Camp to Remember because it is his fifth camping experience. As a returning camper he serves as a Peer-as-Leader (PAL) to new campers. He tells the little boy, “I come back to the camp every summer. For me, I come back because friends here understand me the way my friends at home can’t.” Shortly afterward the little boy says goodbye to his dad and joins the rest of the campers. A Camp to Remember is a summer camp offering the usual camp fun along with support and healing for kids ages 8 to 14 who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Barrett has been camp director for over 35 grief camps on Montana mountain lakes since 1997. Grief camp: two words that when separated conjure opposite emotions. Grief evokes thoughts of loss, pain, tears, and emptiness, while camp usually means fun, laughter, carefree spirits, a full heart, and happy times. Together they represent a place where children feel like they have permission to be happy when they feel happy and sad when they feel sad. A Camp to Remember offers the www. f latheadl i v ing.com carefully balanced elements of freedom and protection. A high counselor-to- camper ratio ensures that every child gets the attention, assistance, and assurance they need. Tamarack Board President Jim Parker says, “The counselors are considerate, loving, and supportive and they set the tone of the camp. It helps campers feel permission to be children and to be themselves…We can’t fix or change their loss but we can give them protection as they pick up tools to deal with their grief.” Diego Steele says he felt extremely vulnerable his first year at camp but quickly discovered that he could trust the people at camp with his feelings. He has been a PAL for four years now and is one of the stars of the camp at Flathead Lake with his charismatic and playful manner—both good tools, but bottom line: it’s his big heart that wraps around everyone. Steele says that his annual camp experience is a time of renewal. “It is like a New Year’s. I come with all my problems and struggles, not just my loss. I can let go here. Here I can have finer thoughts.” Barrett based her doctoral thesis on the effectiveness of outdoor-based grief support programs after interviewing WINTER 2009/2010 | FLATHEAD LIVING 29 over 100 grieving children. Her research supported her thesis that the outdoors provides a wonderful platform for helping children work through their grief because it provides a great playground, a peaceful place for quiet reflection, and the therapeutic effect of connecting with moving, living things such as trees, water, and earth. She notes that there are also many natural metaphors that exist in some of the camp activities that resemble the process of grieving. As the children work through the challenges of a backpacking trip or a tipped boat they find that humor, determination, observing someone else’s efforts, and words of encouragement help them get through it—the same elements that will help them get through their grief. Barrett explains that kids grieve
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